Everything You Need to Know About Sandersgate: How Bernie Sanders Hacked the DNC and Hillary Clinton


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Within the seemingly schism-less DNC there was, lo and behold, a schism. A power struggle has erupted within the party after Bernie Sanders obtained private data regarding Hillary Clintons voting file. This action would normally be immoral in professionally-competent circles; however, the Sanders campaign is not one.

The adventure began in a Nixon-like plot by Sanders to breach the DNC archives using one of his staffers to obtain private information regarding Clintons voter records. Promptly after the DNC discovered this alleged theft (spoiler alert: it was theft), the DNC blocked Sanders access to the data.

Sanders, who apparently does not yet know this country is still not a socialist democracy, demanded the data be returned to him by the DNC. The DNC refused to comply prompting a party civil war in what had been a relatively peaceful primary.

Sanders, now extremely frustrated with the status of the documents, as well as the DNCs apparent bias to Clinton, filed suit against the DNC. According to Sanders, their bias is clearly shown as the DNC has sponsored only a small number of debates, most of which are on low-rated nights such as Saturday.

The suit has since prompted the DNC to return the documents to the Sanders campaign. Campaign manager for Sanders, Jeff Weaver, stated, We need our data, which has been stolen by the DNC. Thats what we want back.

To the astute this sentence would seem a little strange, when did Clintons voting records become your data? In point of fact, Clintons campaign manager, Robby Mook, stated, The Sanders campaign stole data from our campaign, further adding, There is some damage here that cannot be undone.

Weird how they both said it was theirs right? Either way, it remains unclear how something, which has already been stolen, can be stolen for a second time from the unrightful owner.

Yet the alleged damage does not stop there. According to the Clinton campaign, the Sanders team has hacked into the Clinton data file at least 24 other times. However, the Sanders staffer who hacked the file stated that his intent was to expose the flaws in the systems security eerily akin to another miserable excuse, my dog ate my homework.

The DNC uses a renting-system, which allows campaigns to use DNC master lists for a fee to enhance their own campaigns. The DNC also has firewalls in place to prevent campaigns from spying on each other as they use these master lists, yet these firewalls have proven to be less than robust.

The Sanders campaign has since distanced themselves from the staffer, who apparently, acted independently and has been fired for his actions. But if Sanders was unaware of what was going on then he was criminally negligent, if he was aware, then he was just plain criminal.

In the end, the democrats have a tremendously terrible time dealing with technology. Democrats have given the world tweeted photos which never should have been tweeted, emails which should have never been emailed, and now, hacked files which never should have been hacked. Bravo democrats, you truly have outdone yourselves again.

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